Work pressure in IT Industry

Height of work pressure in IT Industry!!!!!

⚠ I was flashing my ID card instead of  unlocking the house door withkeys.

⚠Me and my friends went out for dinner in one of the best restaurants and as I finished I started walking towards the wash basin with Plates in my hand.

⚠I don't login to facebook, youtube, etc.. at my personal internet connection at home... thinking it will be blocked any way. Till I realize that I am at home.

⚠Once after talking to one of my friends I ended the conversation saying, "Ok bye... in case of any issues will call you back"

⚠Once I went to a pharmacy and asked for a tab. Pharmacist asked whether I want 250mg or 500mg? I replied 256mb. Thank god he didn't notice.

⚠After a hectic week, went to a movie. In the middle of the movie, when I wanted to check the time, I kept repeatedly glancing at the bottom right corner of the Theatre Screen.

😄So avoid working so hard !😄

Have a great work-life balance.

Lastly.....

😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳



Extreme Work Pressure:
An employee opens his tiffin box on the road side to see, whether he is going to office, or coming back from office.

The Curious Case of Indian Patients

*Gets Sick (Disease Stage 0 or 1)

*Takes Self Medicine without even consulting anyone. Not even to his imaginary doctor (Medical Shop Owner) // (due to delay in proper/actual treatment stage may goto 1 to 2)//
⇊
or
*Takes Alternate Medicine (Ayurveda/Siddha/Acupuncture/Healer) Because he thinks it has no side effects. //(due to delay in proper/actual treatment stage may goto 1 to 2)//
⇊
or
*Goes to Medical Shop (He thinks Medical Shop Owner is equal to Doctor)  //(due to delay in proper/actual treatment stage may goto 1 to 2)//

⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓ (Now stage may goto 2 to 3)
*Repeats his foolishness for some more time.

⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓ (Now stage may goto 2 to 3)
After failure in repeated foolishness,
Decides to go to a Doctor.

⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓ (Now stage may goto 2 to 3 to 4)
*Searches in Internet about his Symptoms, because he loves to waste time to worsen his health and thinks his 5 minute Internet Search will do better job than Life long Dedication of Doctors.

⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓ (Now stage may goto 2 to 3 to 4)
*Rejects Government Hospitals which offer  Free Treatment and Medicines, Since he cant mingle with people, Chooses Private Hospital but again foolishly expects free/low cost treatment.

⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓ Now in (Stage 3 or 4)
*Atlast goes to Doctor, hides his self medicine/native medicine experiments.Seeks immediate recovery from his self made danger. If any delay in recovery or doctor couldn't cure the disease because disease is in advanced stage,
He starts abusing doctors.

The End.

Departure Instructions Note from Wife to Husband

I am going to My Mom's Place for 6-7 days with kids &

These are the instructions and warning for you. .

1 - No need to call your friends and cousins.
Last time I got 4 large pizza bills beneath the sofa...

2 - Don't forget mobile on the soap holder in the bathroom like last time...
Why would anyone need a mobile in the bathroom.??

3 - Keep your specs in the box..
Last time around it was found in the refrigerator.

4 - Salary already paid to maid.
No need to be extra generous.

5 - Don't disturb neighbors early in the morning asking if they have got newspaper or not??
Our newspaper vendor is different from theirs..
And our laundry person and milkman are also different.

6 - Your Underwear are on left side of wardrobe and on right side are kid's...
Like last time, don't say I was uncomfortable at work....

7 - All reports have been checked and you are alright.
No need to go to that lady doctor again and again.

8 - My sister and Bhabhi's birthdays have  gone last month which you already attended.
No need to go to them at midnight and wish belated happy birthday..

9 - Have cut off WiFi for 10 days.
So sleep early....

10 - Stop smiling and being happy...
as Mrs. Khanna, Mrs. Avasthi, Mrs. Kulkarni, Mrs. Trivedi, Mrs. Ansari, Mrs. Rastogi, Mrs. Chatteerjee...
They all will be out of station in this period....

And last but not the least.

11 - Don't try to be oversmart..
I will be back anytime without informing you

.
.
.
Happy vacation
😆😆😆😆😆😆

WHY DO COUPLES FIGHT!! 😂💕😂

Couples Fight Each other!! 😂💕😂


My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started....

*********

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 100 in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a weighing scale.

And then the fight started....

*********

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.

So I took her to a petrol pump

And then the fight started....

*********

My wife was standing & looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, 'I feel horrible. I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to give me a compliment."

I replied, "Your eyesight is perfect."

And then the fight started....

*********

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

"Somewhere I've not been in a long time."

So I took her to my parents' house.

And then the fight started....

*********
Dedicated to all married couples. But don't send to all

I sent it to my friend. He sent it to his wife and then the fight started. 😂😂😂

Teacher Student Joke

A Teacher funny Conversation with Student:-

A female class teacher was having a problem with a boy in her class in Primary 3.

The boy said, "Madam, I should be in Primary 4. 

I am smarter than my sister and she's in Primary 4".

The Madam had heard enough and took the boy to the principal.

The principal decided to test the boy with some questions from Primary 4.

Principal: What is 3+3?

Boy: 6.

Principal: 6+6.

Boy: 12.

The boy got all the questions right.

The principal told the Madam to send the boy to Primary 4 immediately.

The Madam decided to ask her own questions and the principal agreed.

Madam: What does a cow have 4 of that I have only 2?

Boy: Legs.

Madam: What is in your trousers that I don't have?

Boy: Pockets.

Madam: What starts wit a C and ends with T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?

Boy: Coconut.

Madam: What goes in hard and then comes out soft and sticky?

The principal's eyes opened really wide, but before he could stop the answer, the boy was taking charge

Boy: Bubble gum.

Madam: You stick your pole inside me. You tie me down to get me up, I get wet before you do.

Boy: Tent. 

The principal was looking restless

Madam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you are bored. The best man always has me first?.

Boy: Wedding ring.

Madam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I Drip. When you blow me, you feel good?

Boy: Nose.

Madam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates, I come with a quiver.

Boy: Arrow.

Principal: O MY GOD.

Madam: What starts with 'F' and ends wit a 'K' and if you don't get it, you've to use your hand?

Boy: Fork.

Madam: What is it that all men have, it's longer in some men than others, the Pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after marriage?

Boy: Surname.

Principal: Ohooo!!

Madam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles with a lot of veins like pumpkin and is responsible for making love?

Boy: Heart.

Principal: Eeeeeh!!.. The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the Madam, 

"Send this BLOODY boy to the university...

Even I myself got all the answers wrong!"

LOL!!. DON'T SPOIL THE FUN & SHARE WITH FRIENDS

Teacher and Student Fun Joke

Teacher and Student

A female class teacher was having a problem with a boy in her class in Primary 3.

The boy said, "Madam, I should be in Primary 4. 

I am smarter than my sister and she's in Primary 4".

The Madam had heard enough and took the boy to the principal.

The principal decided to test the boy with some questions from Primary 4.

Principal: What is 3+3?

Boy: 6.

Principal: 6+6.

Boy: 12.

The boy got all the questions right.

The principal told the Madam to send the boy to Primary 4 immediately.

The Madam decided to ask her own questions and the principal agreed.

Madam: What does a cow have 4 of that I have only 2?

Boy: Legs.

Madam: What is in your trousers that I don't have?

Boy: Pockets.

Madam: What starts wit a C and ends with T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?

Boy: Coconut.

Madam: What goes in hard and then comes out soft and sticky?

The principal's eyes opened really wide, but before he could stop the answer, the boy was taking charge

Boy: Bubble gum.

Madam: You stick your pole inside me. You tie me down to get me up, I get wet before you do.

Boy: Tent. 

The principal was looking restless

Madam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you are bored. The best man always has me first?.

Boy: Wedding ring.

Madam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I Drip. When you blow me, you feel good?

Boy: Nose.

Madam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates, I come with a quiver.

Boy: Arrow.

Principal: O MY GOD.

Madam: What starts with 'F' and ends wit a 'K' and if you don't get it, you've to use your hand?

Boy: Fork.

Madam: What is it that all men have, it's longer in some men than others, the Pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after marriage?

Boy: Surname.

Principal: Ohooo!!

Madam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles with a lot of veins like pumpkin and is responsible for making love?

Boy: Heart.

Principal: Eeeeeh!!.. The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the Madam, 

"Send this BLOODY boy to the university...

Even I myself got all the answers wrong!"

LOL!!. DON'T SPOIL THE FUN & SHARE WITH FRIENDS

Husband and Wife Jokes

Funny Husband and Wife Discussion

Wife 😃: honey can I get my hair a cut??✂

Husband 😊: yes get it cut.✂

Wife 😐: but it took long time to grow like this.

Husband☺ : then don't get it cut

Wife😃 : but short hair is trending

Husband 🙂: then get it cut

Wife😒 : my friends may tease me

Husband😠 : Then don't get it cut

Wife😌 : but my mom said it will suit with my little face.

Husband😏 : yes get it cut

Wife 😱: what if the they make it worse in salon.

Husband 😁: then don't get it cut.

Wife 🤔: well I m thinking I should do it.

Husband🤗 : yes get it cut

Wife 😤: if it doesn't suits me then u ll b responsible.

Husband 😧: then don't get it cut

Wife 🤓: but small hair are easy to care.

Husband😉 : yes get it cut

Wife😢 : I m scared too that it may look bad

Husband😲 : Then don't get it cut

Wife😜 : ok finally I made up my mind I should get a hair cut

Husband 😤: yes get it cut

Wife🙄: I donno whether u ll like it or not

Husband😡: then don't get it cut

Wife😀 : ok leave all these, when are we meeting the doctor for my throat infection?

Husband😆 : yes get it cut.

Wife🙀 : whattt? I m talking about doctor

Husband😆 : Then don't get it cut.

Wife 😰: hello!! What are you talking about? Are you okay?

Husband😆 : yes get it cut

Wife😱: oh my god! What happened to you dear?

Husband😆 : Then don't get it cut.

.
.
.
.




" This poor husband😆 is currently in the Nimhans mental hospital seating whole day repeatedly saying the two things only".

😆Yes get it cut
😆Then don't get it cut

WHY DO COUPLES FIGHT

WHY DO COUPLES FIGHT!! 😂💕😂

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started....

*********

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 100 in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a weighing scale.

And then the fight started....

*********

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.

So, I took her to a petrol pump

And then the fight started....

*********

My wife is standing & looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to give me a compliment.'

I replied, 'Your eyesight's perfect.'

And then the fight started....

*********

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

"Somewhere I've not been in a long time."

So I took her to my parents house.

And then the fight started....

*********

Dedicated to all married couples.. But don't send to all

I sent to my friend. He sent to his wife and then the fight started.

😆😆😆

Simple Jokes

Jokes of the day


☑டாக்டர்! எனக்கு பல் ஆடுது!
🔗எந்த பாட்டுக்கு?👯👯👯👯👯👯👯👯
......................................................
🔘ஆஸ்பத்திரிக்கு எப்படி போகணும்?
🔗நோயோடதான்!😷😷😷😷😷😷😷😷😷😷
.......................................................
☑தாத்தா! இனிமே கம்ப்யூட்டர் படிச்சாதான் வேலை கிடைக்கும்!
🔗அப்ப..... நீ படிச்சா கிடைக்காதா?🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
....................................................................
🔘டேய்! நாளைக்கு ஒரு பெண் பார்க்கப் போறேன்! நீயும் வந்துவிடு!
🔗கண்டிப்பா! உனக்கு ஒரு கஷ்டம் என்றால் நான் சும்மா இருப்பேனா?😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘
.....................................................................
☑டாக்டர்! தினமும் ஒரு பச்சை முட்டை சாப்பிட சொன்னீங்க! ஆனால் எங்கள் கோழி வெள்ளை முட்டைதான் போடுது! என்ன செய்ய?😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝
....................................................................
🔘என் பூட்டை உடைத்து 5 லட்சம் கொள்ளை அடித்து விட்டார்கள்!
🔗பூட்டுக்குள் எப்படிடா 5 லட்சம் வைத்திருந்தாய்?🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
........................................................................
☑படிச்சி முடிச்சப்புறம் என்ன செய்ய போறே?
🔗புக்கை மூடிடுவேன்!💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪
........................................................................
🔘காலில் என்ன காயம்?
🔗செருப்பு கடித்து விட்டது
🔗பின்ன அதை மிதிச்சா அது சும்மா இருக்குமா!👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊
..............................................................
☑குளிச்ச பிறகு எதுக்கு தலையை துவட்டுறோம்?
 🔗தெரியல, குளிக்கும் போதே துவட்ட முடியாதே!😜😜😜😜😜😜
.......................................................................
🔘இரண்டு இட்லியைக் கூட முழுசா சாப்பிட முடியல டாக்டர்..?
🔗என்னாலையும் முழுசா இரண்டு இட்லி சாப்பிட முடியாது, புட்டு புட்டுதான் சாப்பிடனும்!😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙
...........................................................................
☑டேய்! ஒரு 10 ருபாய் இருந்தா கொடு
🔗என்னிடம் சுத்தமா இல்ல
🔗பரவாயில்லை கொடு, நான் சுத்தம் பண்ணிக்கிறேன்!😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳
....................................................................
🔘இந்த ஊரில் தங்க வீடு கிடைக்குமா..?
🔗கிடைக்காது.. கூரை வீடு, ஓட்டு வீடு, மாடி வீடுதான் கிடைக்கும்!🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
..............................................................
☑சர்தார்: தம்பி நீ என்ன படிச்சிருக்க?
பையன்: பி.எ.
சர்தார்: அடப்பாவி, படிச்சதே ரெண்டு எழுத்து அதையும் தலை கீழா படிச்சிருக்கே!
.................................................................😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜

Share to allll

What do you call a bee that comes from America

What do you call a bee that comes from America?

USB

No claps please!😄😄

What do you call a lady who drinks only one tea in a day?

Jaswanti

One More ☝😁

Why don't people clap in Afghanistan?

Because of 'Tali-ban'!😀

 Acha ek aur ☝😁


How do you ask your 'Maasi' to take a dip in water?

Diplomacy!😀😀

Ye wala last ☝😁

How do you say "she is calling a cab" in one word?

Vocabulary!😜😁

Ye wala ek dum last☝

Which Pakistani cricketer does not have a date of birth?

Umar Gul..

😝😝 Bonus One

What you call a fat girl waiting at the Bus Stop.

Simple its - MOTIVATING.
😀😁😂😂😝


Don't laugh alone, pass it on ... 😜

All husbands can enjoy a quick laugh

All husbands can enjoy 😄😄😄 a quick laugh

🔴
Wife : Shall I prepare Sambar or Rasam today .
Husband : First make it, we will name it later
☺😋

🔴
A frustrated husband in front of his laptop:
dear google, please do not behave like my wife...
Please allow me to complete my sentence before you start guessing & suggesting
😂😂

🔴
A married man's prayer;
Dear God, u gave me childhood, u took it away
U gave me youth, u took it away.
U gave me a wife.......... Its been years now,
just reminding u......😂😂

🔴
😝😝

🔴
Husband: I found Aladin's lamp today.
Wife: wow, what did u ask for darling??
Husband: I asked him to increase your brain ten times..
Wife: oh..jaan..luv u so much.. Did he do that??
Husband: He laughed and said multiplication doesn't apply on zero.

🔴
Employee: Sir You are like a lion in the office! What about at home??
Boss: I am a lion at home too, But Goddess Durga sits on the lion there !
😝😝😝

🔴
A man gifted his wife a diamond necklace for their anniversary
and wife didn't speak to him for 6 months.
Was the necklace FAKE?
Nooooo! That was the deal :)
😜😜😜

🔴
A couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant.
As the food was served, the husband said, "the food looks delicious, let's eat."
Wife: honey.....you say prayer before eating at home.
Husband: that's at home sweetheart......here the chef knows how to cook.
😁😁😁

LAST BUT THE BEST
🔴
Best Slogan on a
MAN's T-Shirt :
"Please Do Not Disturb me,
I am Married and already very Disturbed"
😂😂😂